Before I came back to California to attend my second year of school I was looking for a sign to point me in the right direction. On the very day I asked for a sign an envelope was found in the bottom of a bag. On the front it said, “Seed money for Bethel.” I opened it and found $50. It wasn’t a lump sum of money that would cure my need to have all the answers but it was a sign that pointed me in the right direction. Nine months later what started out as a seed has grown into something beautiful. What I have found is that I needed to step out in faith and find the provision in the process.
One way ticket
On August 25th I bought a one-way ticket from Australia to California to attend my second year at Bethel. I had no idea how my school fees would be paid let alone where my living expenses were coming from. “The point of no return” is an aviation term invented by pilots for the point in a flight where they have too little fuel left to return to the originating airfield. My stomach flipped with adrenaline when I crossed the Pacific Ocean, my life was very much in the hands of God. When it comes to risk taking there is this dark point where there is no turning back, where you’re too far in to turn around. In this dark abyss of uncertainty my mind was tempted to make sense of the situation by conjuring up different scenarios that could happen, looking at my situation from every angle. But this would just lead me down the path of frustration because there was nothing I could do. I sat back in my seat and decided to trust. Luckily, I wasn’t alone in my ‘faith walk’. One of my best friends, Leah, was along for the ride with me. She too had booked a one-way ticket. As we sat on the plane with anticipation in our spirit we knew that something amazing was about to happen. We had shown up, now it was time for the miraculous to take the reins.
The miraculous did come through with the goods, within 3 days my tuition of $4,400 USD was fully paid off. Miraculously money has come in at the right time for rent and living expenses. I have found myself in some crazy situations in Los Angeles that I couldn’t have even dreamt of or orchestrated myself. Leah also had her fees paid in the most random ways and she went on 8 ministry trips so between both of us around $27,000 AUD has come out of the woodwork. Thank you to those of you who sowed a seed, big or small into our destiny!
Growth in Trust
Upon reflection what I have grown in is TRUST. The world can make it very difficult to trust. We have such a deep fear of being exposed and hurt that we can live so cautiously and get to the end of our life and say we never really lived. I have learnt what it is to trust in a higher power that says, “I will make a way where there seems to be no way, and I will work everything together for good.” Having a bit of history behind me where I have been in the unknown and watched the miraculous come through has helped build stability in me. I have found stability in another world, not my circumstances.
Learning to trust myself
Secondly, I have learnt to trust myself. The more I have grown in trusting myself, the better decisions I make, and the better I am at backing my choices and taking ownership of my decisions.
Thirdly I am better at trusting people. I have had my fair share of disappointment, hurt, and betrayal but I have used these life lessons to teach me how to heal, become whole and make better decisions with the people I choose to surround myself with. If everyone around me isn’t trustworthy, at the end of the day it falls on me – why am I attracting such untrustworthy people? When I grow in being a trustworthy person I attract trusted people.
Leah and I are living proof that starting before you are ready is the best way to go after your dreams. Money has never limited us from our YES. We have learnt that when you let go and trust the process you leave room for something wonderful and unexpected to happen. We replaced worry for wonder, certainty for curiosity and have felt more alive than ever before. We have grown so much and have figured it out along the way, never settling for less. At the end of the day, we can say we didn’t quit, we didn’t abort the mission when it got hard, we viewed every obstacle as an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves and to trust in the things unseen.