Have you noticed that most of life is held in tension? What works for one person doesn’t work for another. To experience a full life we are not to strive and act desperate, yet we are to work hard. Without vision and reaching for goals we flounder yet somewhere along the way life has taught us, “don’t expect too much because you’ll be disappointed.” We are afraid of disappointment so we don’t risk. To run wholeheartedly after your dreams you have to surrender to tension. Through my journey of dreams coming true, I have learnt to dream differently. I don’t have a grip on ‘how’ they come true. When I get fixated on the ‘how’ the overwhelming sense of impossibility settles in. Since I can remember I dreamed to live in America but my idea of how it would happen was completely different to what I could have expected – it was even better.

What is surrender?

Surrender means giving up my idea of what the end result should look like. I no longer get fixated on how the miracle should happen or how the dream will come true. I understand that we hate the unknown, but it’s time to make peace with it. Take each day, one step at a time, live moment by moment but at the same time, cast grand vision for our life.

If we live our life not surrendered we are inviting disappointment. Surrender is a way to keep your heart in check of daily disappointments that creep in. Surrender is not giving up. It is not subjecting to hopelessness. Surrender is not lazy. Surrender is a vital part of relationships and pursuing dreams. When we seek to control outcomes in relationships people are no longer free to be fully themselves around us. Neither are our dreams free to become all they are meant to be.

Dreams that choose us

I believe that our dreams choose us, we don’t choose our dreams. I believe when you have a surrendered heart your dreams have a way of pursuing you. Our job is to take brave steps that line up with our heart. If your dream is to be a fashion designer I think it’s important to steward the gift by taking classes, feed the passion, create, explore and get curious about it but also position yourself with childlike wonder, a heart full of surrender to whatever the big break looks like. My dream knows me better than I know it. In the past 2 years I have been so surprised at dreams coming true – the kind of dreams my mind never could have concocted.

My dream knows me better than I know it.

Surrender has no agenda

An indicator that you haven’t fully surrendered is when you say, “I have been surrendering and surrendering and still nothing is happening.” Surrender isn’t some sort of step or formula, it’s a heart posture. It is trust. It’s a moment by moment, day by day act that makes room for you to be swept off your feet. Before I came to Bethel I really did surrender all my dreams. I said to God, “I will clean toilets if that will make me happy.” Chasing happiness, joy and peace everyday was my goal. Surrender abolished the foreboding fear that my life wouldn’t be significant. Surrender told me I was significant despite my results.

Surrender makes room

I was exhausted struggling and fighting for the life that I wanted so I decided to sit back and make myself a beautiful magnet for the divine to come sit on my lap and fulfil my hearts desires.

If you would like to unpack the tension of surrender and going after your dreams in your own life, click the link here to find out more about coaching with me.

Ella is a Life Coach, Speaker and Writer with a passion for story telling, wholeness and living the life you always imagined! Learn more about Ella here and connect via email, instagram or facebook!


  1. I love this and I love you!!!!! So unbelievably proud of you my dear and precious friend!!!!!!! Nat xxxx

    • Thank you so much Nat!!! Love you!! Can’t wait to hear all about your amazing travels!! xxx

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