Last year my new year’s resolution was to take a risk with my life. I asked myself what I would do if I had no limitations. So the pursuit began to live a life free from limitations. Sitting on the other side of risk I cannot begin to describe how fulfilling it is. The process, as I have explained, was so vulnerable and scary!
Confronted with my fear
When I got accepted to the school my sister Susannah and I went out for dinner. I told her. She said, “Ella you have to tell the world! You need to fundraise on Facebook. It would be a good opportunity for you to get over your fear of what people think!” I looked at her, cringing, saying “No way! How mortifying!” and brushed it to the side.
I had no idea how I was going to pay for my school tuition. I went to my friend’s church and was speaking to a lady about my situation and she said “the internet – you have to put it on the Internet!” With three weeks and counting I was running out of ideas of what to do… I was thinking, “there is no way I am putting that on the Internet – how shameful and embarrassing!”
Afterwards I went out with my friends and the woman’s words kept playing on my mind. I told my friends and they were like, “No if you don’t feel peaceful about it don’t do it!” Then they dug a little deeper (like good friends do!) to find my motive and they were like, “Oh, you’re afraid of what people would think?! That’s why you need to do it!!” I felt sick! I felt like a beggar from a Charles Dickens novel. “Can I have some more?” Ick! How mortifying! I hated it! I decided that I wasn’t going to let the fear of what people think get in the way of making my dreams happen. You should have seen me in my living room squirming as I wrote the first post on Facebook inviting people to financially partner with me!
Time to take another risk
I am not a ‘selfie’ kinda girl, I have no desire to tell you what I ate for breakfast so posting something like asking for money was a real stretch for me!
So, I put up the post on Facebook… did I mention it was excruciating?! And then one by one the donations came in. By publicly declaring to the world (well Facebook) that I was moving to America meant that there was no backing out. I was going.
Running at fear for me looked like posting my tuition on Facebook. Part of my journey has really been to run at fear, chase it down and never allow it to return. Taking a risk wasn’t a once off experience it was a choice I had to make everyday. Am I going to keep saying yes?
On the other side of fear
My act of vulnerability unlocked a whole new perspective on what community looks like. I was blown away by how people were interested in my life and how they wanted to help. By asking for help I ran the risk of no one noticing, rejection and people’s judgment.
What I have learnt is that saying no to fear meant that I was saying yes to love. It meant that I could receive love and support from people. Love from people that I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t taken a risk.
I am curious to know how many of you out there are comfortable with asking for help? And how many of you would rather give help than ask for help? I am so excited about 2015! I have seen how much my life has changed in the space of a year. Transformation comes from the inside out. My goal for 2015 is to pursue health in every area of my life. I know as a result of that my dreams will come true. Our mind is a powerful weapon. If I transform my thinking I will attract what my heart desires. So I challenge you to dig deeper, change your perspective on your problems and maybe when 1st January 2016 rolls in you will say, “I am not the same person I was last year”.