A dream is a wish your heart makes

A few years back I walked into an inner healing counseling session, sat down and said, “I feel like I have no vision and the dreams I once dreamed are lifeless. I don’t have that connection I once had with them.” The counselor said, “The reason you are finding it hard to have vision is because you haven’t dealt with the pain that you have walked through.” When I say pain, I’m not referring to violence or abuse, I’m talking about the kind of pain everyone encounters. Rejection, betrayal, unworthiness, shame, just to name a few ‘fun’ feelings. We are encouraged to dream big but not really taught how to get back up when we fall down. How do we disempower the disappointments that come from an unmet expectation? My heart was like a heart with holes in it. Disappointment and discouragement had made a home in my heart rather than hope and joy. Disappointment was fogging up my lenses and I couldn’t see much of an exciting future. Dreaming is connected to our heart, so how do we manage our heart so that we keep dreaming big?

2015 a dream come true

2015 was an EPIC year for me! Full of experiencing things I never experienced before. I finished first year in California, moved back to Australia, worked in Airlie Beach, and moved back to California to start my 2nd year in September. I have traveled to New York, Los Angeles, Vegas, San Francisco and sailed the Whitsunday Islands. I have met the most amazing people and been given opportunities that I never thought possible. It turns out risk and walking through the unknown pay off! In the midst of the incredible highs, 2015 threw some curve balls that were very hard to face.  I had to walk through a very painful situation. The kind of situation that feels like the rug is pulled out from under your feet. Heart break, shock and jilted were just a few of the painful feelings running through me. I was presented with a choice – I could either partner with hopelessness or hope. I made a vow a few years back that I would never create a mindset based on a negative. So here in my negative situation I found an opportunity to test that theory out. I have to dig deep to discover what it means to heal from pain rather than run from it. Not building a mindset based on a negative requires me to grow awareness around what I think, say and do. I have to find out what I am actually believing and choose to believe a higher truth rather than negotiating with disappointment and settling for a lesser life.

Valuing pain

Sometimes we don’t value our pain because we pull out our measuring stick and say, “My pain is not as bad as that person’s over there so I should suck it up and get over it.” Pain is pain. We say things like, “I need to get over it, just move past it or forget about it.” But how do we actually do this? When we say things like, “let it go” where do we let it go too? We say things like, “time heals all wounds” – if this were true then prisoners would be the most emotionally healthy people on the planet. Instead of facing pain we push it down so far that we cope by keeping a lid on it, biting our tongue or making a cynical joke. We hope it doesn’t resurface but then when we are in a position where someone pushes one of our triggers, boom, there we go, word-vomit everywhere!

Numbing pain

I have learnt that when we numb pain, for example, emotional eating, drinking too much, drugs, watching endless episodes of Friends, sex, we actually bury it but it always comes out in the ugliest way! Then we wake up one day and wonder why we are attracting these bad cycles in our lives and why people in our life don’t respect us. We wonder why am I always left out? Why am I so jealous? Why am I not valued, loved and appreciated? Then, because we don’t know the answer we try to suppress and ‘try harder’ to keep our bad reactive behaviour under wraps. We either try to be more positive or we shift to blaming something external for all of our problems. When really, I am my biggest problem. It all begins in my mind, what I believe about myself. For example, you may think, “People always leave me out” but the real question is, “Do I believe I am worthy of people’s attention?” and let your behavior reflect that rather than your words.

Exploring the dark to find the light

Dr Brene Brown says, “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” In that counseling session a number of years ago I realized that avoiding pain was stopping me from dreaming, blocking me from joy and hindering me from hope. I want to be able to rise stronger, brighter and wiser despite pain. What I find most helpful is actually talking to someone who is wiser than me. Someone who has walked through hard times but has come through with hope for a beautiful future. It’s one thing to talk to someone positive but another to actually talk to someone who has had breakthrough in the area you need breakthrough. People may hurt us but they also heal us. I write this post not to be dull but to actually start a conversation about painful things, because when we voice it to the right people we will receive fresh perspective. When we receive fresh perspective hope can rush in. Perspective will also create awareness around the way we think, speak and behave. “Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brene Brown.

Ella is a Life Coach, Speaker and Writer with a passion for story telling, wholeness and living the life you always imagined! Learn more about Ella here and connect via email, instagram or facebook!


  1. Inz

    So good! Preach it Sista!

    • Ella Hooper

      Thanks darling!!!! xxx

  2. What a great blog!! It was so good to be able to share some of this journey with you. I still remeber the trip back from NY and your expenses! You have put trust and faith right on the line and it has enabled you to dig deep into your very being and find out who you are. You really are a revivalist, and the world is a better place because you have trusted in God and allowed Holy Spirit to do amazing things in you, so you can do amazing things with Him. I hope you will come to and see us soon! Cliff xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  • @theorycollaborative you are basically my real life version of ‘central perk’ from @friends. ❤️ PC: @jamieintheusa
  • Congratulations @joseph_maggiore & @tiff_fa_knee on getting married 💕 we loved celebrating you!
  • Love my people 😍 📷 @christine.l.sullivan
  • Have you ever said "I've told you a million times, why don't you listen?" Even with the best intentions sometimes our words of wisdom don't seem to resonate with the person... have you ever wondered why?⠀
I'm a verbal processor but being verbal doesn't mean I am automatically a great communicator, it just means I talk a lot. When we speak often our agenda is to be understood and heard, but in the midst of that we forget to make the other person feel heard and understood. ⠀
Maybe if we shifted the goal from agreement (right and wrong) to connection we would be able to find our way back to each other. I know if someone doesn't hear me, I need to learn to change the way I communicate. Staying in a place of "No one listens to me" keeps me in a place of helplessness. Approaching people from a place of curiosity rather than judgement will change the game in the way you communicate!
  • Happy Birthday to this blonde babe of a woman!!!!!!! Love and miss you so much! Take us back to sailing the whitsundays and discovering abandoned resorts! @thewritersink 💜💗✨
  • "So why would I fear the future? For I am being pursued only by your goodness and unfailing love" #psalms 
Often our minds are rehearsing tragedy, meditating on lack, and forgetting the good. What if we shifted our focus? And got caught up in a cycle of goodness instead of lack?

If fear has to do with punishment am I walking on egg shells anticipating something bad happening? Am I believing that I am worth being punished? Or do I believe that I am being pursued by love? 
It's time to get caught up in a cycle of love and goodness rather than a cycle of rejection and punishment.
  • Perfect catch up with @jack_n_j on a beautiful sunny winters day on Sunset Blvd 💕
  • Magic day in La La Land ✨Pic cred @nikkimataphoto
  • Cutest company on a rooftop in LA ✨✨✨
  • My brother is engaged!! So happy to welcome a new sister into the family!! Love you @shellechin and @jess.hooper 💜😭💕💍👰🏻🤵🏼
  • I met the sweetest little boy today @ziondupree 👶🏽congratulations @chantelleenelson @dontanelson he will change the world 🌎
  • Hawaii Vibes ✨