Comparison is a thief!

Comparison robs us of Confidence.

As we grow in confidence we will find that we will start to compare ourselves less. We all know that comparison is one of those diseases that we ‘should’ rid from our life. We hear that comparison will steal our joy! Comparison is like identity theft. It robs you of who you are.

Comparison the measuring stick!

If we view our own life through comparison we will also measure other people through the lens of comparison. We will say, “They are skinnier than me, but at least I have a better fashion sense than them!” “They have my dream job, but I have a better family than them.” When comparison is a tool to feel better we allow a lifestyle of judgment and never good enough.

“I will be happy when I get married.” “I will be happy when I have kids.” “I will be happy when I get the job promotion.” “I will be happy when I lose the weight.” Thinking like this will divorce us from the present and will cause us to spend most of our time in a future place of ‘one day’.

Right place, right time.

I am exactly where I need to be. I can acknowledge when I am feeling jealous but make a choice to celebrate that person in my heart rather than saying, “That bitch, stole my promotion.” When we constantly compare, people go from being allies and turn into enemies. And the thing is people can tell when you’re faking it through clenched teeth “… congratulations…” It’s from a mentality of shortage of opportunities and goodness in the world. It’s easy to celebrate someone’s success when you accept and celebrate yourself.

What is success?

Before I started my blog I had this thought, “There are so many other bloggers out there, I don’t want to be a cliché blogger!” Then I felt this pressure that in order for me to be a success I needed to make it mind blowing and stand out from the rest. The best thing that I have learnt is to redefine my view of success, rather than what other people will think is successful. When you embrace your process, accept where you are at, you actually begin to 1. Enjoy your life, and 2. Attract more opportunities. Hustling may bring about some opportunities but it will bring you to a point where nothing is ever good enough and you won’t be able to enjoy the opportunity that life does bring your way.

So I encourage you to put all your energy into finding yourself. Explore and celebrate your uniqueness! Rather than placing your energy down the drain of comparison.

Ella is a Life Coach, Speaker and Writer with a passion for story telling, wholeness and living the life you always imagined! Learn more about Ella here and connect via email, instagram or facebook!

2 Comments

  1. Lauren Griffin

    Hi Ella- loving your blog. This is so true- I think it has a lot to do with how we are raised. At school, it wasn’t cool to celebrate each other’s success- it was more about calling that successful girl a b***h and trying to bring her down. It takes a while to unlearn these habits. I think teaching this at school would make a huge difference for the next generation!

    • Hi Lauren! I’m so glad to hear your loving my blog! Thank you!! I so know what you mean, I think even in work place culture it’s a hard one! I am unlearning so much from the school yard days! I hope you are well! xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Instagram

  • Love my people 😍 📷 @christine.l.sullivan
  • Have you ever said "I've told you a million times, why don't you listen?" Even with the best intentions sometimes our words of wisdom don't seem to resonate with the person... have you ever wondered why?⠀
⠀
I'm a verbal processor but being verbal doesn't mean I am automatically a great communicator, it just means I talk a lot. When we speak often our agenda is to be understood and heard, but in the midst of that we forget to make the other person feel heard and understood. ⠀
⠀
Maybe if we shifted the goal from agreement (right and wrong) to connection we would be able to find our way back to each other. I know if someone doesn't hear me, I need to learn to change the way I communicate. Staying in a place of "No one listens to me" keeps me in a place of helplessness. Approaching people from a place of curiosity rather than judgement will change the game in the way you communicate!
  • Happy Birthday to this blonde babe of a woman!!!!!!! Love and miss you so much! Take us back to sailing the whitsundays and discovering abandoned resorts! @thewritersink 💜💗✨
  • "So why would I fear the future? For I am being pursued only by your goodness and unfailing love" #psalms 
Often our minds are rehearsing tragedy, meditating on lack, and forgetting the good. What if we shifted our focus? And got caught up in a cycle of goodness instead of lack?

If fear has to do with punishment am I walking on egg shells anticipating something bad happening? Am I believing that I am worth being punished? Or do I believe that I am being pursued by love? 
It's time to get caught up in a cycle of love and goodness rather than a cycle of rejection and punishment.
  • “City of stars are you shining just for me?” - La La Land 🎶 I love LA and all the twinkle lights scattered throughout the city ✨ pic cred @nikkimataphoto
  • Perfect catch up with @jack_n_j on a beautiful sunny winters day on Sunset Blvd 💕
  • Magic day in La La Land ✨Pic cred @nikkimataphoto
  • Cutest company on a rooftop in LA ✨✨✨
  • My brother is engaged!! So happy to welcome a new sister into the family!! Love you @shellechin and @jess.hooper 💜😭💕💍👰🏻🤵🏼
  • I met the sweetest little boy today @ziondupree 👶🏽congratulations @chantelleenelson @dontanelson he will change the world 🌎
  • Hawaii Vibes ✨
  • Arrived in beautiful Hawaii 🌊🏄‍♀️🏖⛱